Srsly, I am going to go fucking CRAZY writing shit other than my nano.

Things I want to write:

1) The MAGIC SCHOOL BUS merlin AU. In which Arthur says, "PLEASE let this be a normal field trip!" And merlin's like "With the Friz? NO WAY!" And they go off and like, explore the space-time continuum or something. I dunno. At some point Arthur's gonna sword-fight with something and be all "That was awesome" and the other kids are going to be like "OMG ARE YOU OKAY" and he'll be all "Fine, guys, srsly did you see me kick ass?" And Morgana will be all "According to my research, you're awesome."

2) The Modern Fairytale AU in which Merlin may or may not be a fairy godmother/makeup artist, Morgana does not cast a love spell, Arthur is horribly amused and Uther is on hunt for a sorceress (but falls in love with her instead).

3) Sky High / Supernatural crossover. In which Dean is shunted to the sidekick program (but not for LONG).

4) Snippets of my Nano, future-'verse.

Since I've got the ideas written down... NOW I MUST WRITE MY NANO INSTEAD.

*brain breaks*

I have NO IDEA what is up with my brain and Supernatural, lately.

First it was this AU.

Title: Devil's Dance
Length: One-shot (5 748)
Rating: not for minors
Summary: He's right, too. He's been on stage for thirty seconds and the panel is staring at him with cold, expressionless eyes, and Dean wishes he were up against a werewolf or a Wendigo, something he knew how to fight. He stands in his sweats and his bare feet and thinks, well, fuck them, anyway.
Warnings: Language, violence, etc.

And then I had like, some sort of fit, and the next thing I know, I'm in the process of posting

( FIVE SUPERNATURAL AUs I AM NOT GOING TO WRITE. )

When was the last time I made an unlocked post? Like, seriously.

( Cut because I'm actually not all that interesting, click if you want to read me blathering on about my various WIPs, and you get extra points if you click on the link to my latest story. )

Later, all.

Untitled, by me, no spoilers for season 5 (unless I've missed something and you won't understand it anyway), pure crack, and so forth.

In which Dean obtains external validation, Sam hits on a trannie in a bar, Carson is nauseated, Cas explains things, nobody fights to the death (although not because they don't want to), and the plot makes a short, brief appearance but is quickly smothered.

Part Eight was posted only hours ago, so make sure you've read that first.



Next?

Untitled, by me, no spoilers for season 5 (unless I've missed something and you won't understand it anyway), pure crack, and so forth.

In which Dean doesn't fight, the hotel staff doesn't clean, nobody gets their smite on (except that one time), angels are not cuddled, and very little is learned about the plot.



Next Part

You may want to do the 6-question quiz I've already posted here. Just saying. I'm holding your crackfic hostage.

And it might SEEM like I'm only asking questions for no reason, but I can honestly say that this is VITALLY IMPORTANT to the plot of my nanowrimo novel. I actually require answers to these questions, so if nobody responds I'm going to have to resort to adding strangers on AIM and IMing them to find out what their opinion is.

1. What's the worst joke you can think of?
2. If "radioactive zombie" is not an option and my MCs have already fought a giant octopus in the harbour, what's the most ridiculous thing that a superhero could face?
3. Your favourite LOLcat/LOLdog/LOLhamster etc?
4. Favourite de-motivational poster?
5. If a superhero had an online blog (kind of the opposite of Dr. Horrible, and he doesn't sing, and isn't NPH) what are questions you would honestly ask him/her, and what kind of entries would you like to see?
6. If you had to choose between a FUNNY ending, an ending with a SURPRISE TWIST, a SAD ending, or option D which is "all of the above but sort of toned down", you would chooooose.... what?

( Blah blah, stuff about a completely different superhero under the cut. )

Colleen: Holy fucking flying shit balls of fire!


ROFLMAO

Snog, Shag, Marry or Chuck

1) You comment here asking me to challenge you.
2) I give you a list of four (women/men/both; be sure to specify).
3) You put in your next post who you'd snog, shag, marry, and chuck off a cliff.

I got these four from sparrowshellcat.

( My four: Helena Bonham Carter, Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Lucy Liu, and Taylor Kitsch. )

1. Insomnia, it's something I've struggled with for YEARS. It is -- unfun.
2. I know I'm a bad person for even THINKING it. But. Um. So, it wasn't SERIOUS but I was reading a bit of crack!fic where Dean was trying to explain to Cas how fangirls decided who would top vs. who would bottom (I KNOW! I am a Bad Person. DO. NOT. JUDGE. ME!) and Cas said the deeply troubling phrase, "If I were paired with Sam--" So. Uh. I'm invoking Rule 34, people. Somewhere out there, someone has already written Sam/Cas porn. And I want to know where it is.
3. Peanut = miserably sick. I wanted to snuggle him like a Fred, but I refrained because A) he is not a kitty-cat, B) I'm still not aware of how much physical contact he's comfortable with, although he does allow me to ruffle his hair and rub his back. To be honest, I'm just worried about inciting an uneccesary shitfit for no reason other than my maternal instincts going haywire and my ovaries exploding (metaphorically) all over the place while my brain and hormones all scream COMFORT HIM. Oh, and C) I don't wanna catch whatever he has. So --- poor baby. He was all tuckered out.
4. I'm exhausted. I was so exhausted I watched Blue's Clues, and I wanted to lose consciousness (I didn't. Believe me. I am RESPONSIBLE, motherfuckers) but when I'm here, I can't go to bed. Fuck.
5. Sparrow, I have a strange and almost compulsive need to watch Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang. Like, a LOT. I hope this is okay. Also, I hope you are a) feeling better b) not yet overworked c) never going to have to deal with a shitty week like this again and d) excited that NaNo is about to start.
6. NANO is about to start. Holy SHIT
7. I have ASL class this weekend. Bugger.
8. I am gonna have to reschedule my dr's appt.
9. I want to go on a date. (Think: Giselle, in Enchanted.) It's been so long since I was on a date, people. I just want something --- nice.
10. On a completely unrelated note, I will begin writing again as soon as I have a day a little better than today.
11. Ace, I miss you.
12. SE -- I told you already, didn't I? Well that still stands.
13. I don't just look for girls with pink hair anymore. (Dess? Where are you?)
14. Fuck. I'm getting up at 6:45, and I'm still up. That's less than five fucking hours from now. Shit. Motherfucking shit. You know who I blame? Nobody. It's nobody's fault.
15. I'm supposed to try to have less negative thinking. It's been working for a few seconds, at LEAST. Go me!

TTYS

Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang. Fic, something like 2700 words, tentatively titled "You'll Never Die in This Town Again" which, by the way, is totally the title of a Johnny Gossamer Novel. Rated R for like, saying 'fuck' a lot. And maybe some other shit. And if you're wondering if this is like, a habit of mine, the answer is no. If fics are ever completed, I post them to DW and will probably delete them from LJ. So only WIPs are here. But. Um. Sparrow? This is all your fault. You LEFT the movie IN THE DVD player. So. Uh. I HAD to watch it again, right?

You believe me, right?

Note: This is like, unbeta'd and like, unedited. There are typos everywhere. I apologise.

-

( So, when Harmony walks in, looking all fucking gorgeous (Jesus, would you look at the legs on that woman. Just look. Go ahead, I'll wait.) )

(I need to go to bed, but I want to finish this later. Yes, there's a plot.)

So, I spent all day Sunday like, curled up on my bed not doing anything. And I didn't sign into MSN or AIM or LJ or anything. I didn't even read fic, except for that I always read fic before I go to bed. And then today was interesting, for many different reasons so:

I'm gonna go curl up on my bed with my cat and three blankets and watch a movie.

So if I haven't been online, please note these things: I am okay, I am not ignoring you, and I am very tired. Also, I think that the poor computer-generated rats are going to be caught by a scary old lady.

I WAS RIGHT OMG GOTTA GO POOR RATS NEED RESCUING TTYS

Things I learned today: Kiss Kiss Bang Bang is one of the best movies in the world. Manos, the hands of fate is one of the WORST movies in the world. Also, crack is not good for you if it is cocaine. It is very good for you if it is fic.

Still Heather-safe, still untitled, still written by me.

In which stuff happens, glitter is spread, the plot tries to jump-start itself, there is fuck-ton of gratuitous swearing, (ha, see what I did just there) and nobody has any clue where Castiel has gone. Rated R for an overabundance of harsh language, crack, shameless self-insertion of myself and my friends into an established universe, mature themes, and mentions of the apocalypse.

( MANOS: The hands of Fate -- as chapter title is has nothing to do with the plot and makes no fucking sense, so, in short, it is PERFECTLY SUITED to be the chapter title. )

Next Part

No Season 5 Spoilers.

Still untitled, by me, in which we see the back of Rylan's shirt, someone discovers C2's inner pain, Castiel is serious, Carson is painfully shy, the caterers are traumatized, coffee is consumed, and we learn dick-all about the plot. Rated R for language, crack, shameless self-insertion of myself and my friends into an established universe, mature themes, and mentions of the apocalypse.

( Yup. This is how I spent my morning, guys. Fear me. )

Next Part

No Season 5 Spoilers.

Still untitled, by me, in which fangirls get even crazier, the Sparkly Guy gets a name, Castiel thinks there's nothing to worry about, some people are right on the ball, it is made slightly more clear what an honour it is to be an Apostle, and we still learn absolutely nothing about the plot. Rated R for language, crack, shameless self-insertion of myself and my friends into an established universe, mature themes, and mentions of the apocalypse.

( SO much fun to write, this part... )

Next Part

No Season 5 Spoilers.

Still untitled, by me, in which I am clumsy off-screen, fangirls are crazy, we learn absolutely nothing about the plot, an Apostle does a spit-take, someone is wearing sparkly eyelashes, and Sam's sense of humour leaves something to be desired. Rated R for language, crack, shameless self-insertion of myself and my friends into an established universe, mature themes, and mentions of the apocalypse.

( Okay, at least I managed to hint that a plot might be in, like, development or something... )
Next Part

My computer hates me, so no more until I get some sleep and Henri does as well...

Once again, spoiler-free for season 5.

Untitled, by me, in which fangirls are crazy, we learn absolutely nothing about the plot, Sam is molested by a cowgirl, and Dean is himself, the Ghostfacers get nothing more than a passing reference, and somebody lies. Rated R for language, crack, shameless self-insertion of myself and my friends into an established universe, mature themes, and mentions of fanfic (both incestuous, inter-species because angels aren't technically human, and lesbian porn).

( Na na na na na na na na, na na na na na na na na, nananananananananana BATMAN, BATMAN! )

--

Part Four

Once again: Minor-to-major spoilers for Supernatural season 4 but nothing from season 5; totally Heather-safe.

Untitled, by me, in which we are fangirls, someone does a spit-take, and Cas fights demons, rated R for language, crack, shameless self-insertion of myself and my friends into an established universe, and mentions of fanfic (both incestuous and lesbian porn).

( Yeah it's about 1800 words this time, and all of it is just as awful-or-maybe-awesome as the first bit. Take that, Kripke. )

Part Three ...

Minor spoilers for Supernatural season 4 under the cut, but nothing from season 5, so totally Heather-safe. Most of this is shameless self-insertion. And because I'm absolutely certain that if Chuck is a prophet of the lord, then we are the boys' motherfucking apostles.

Untitled, by me, in which we pretend to be Hunters and fight demons, rated R for language, crack, and shameless self-insertion of myself and my friends into an established universe. I'm C2.

-

( Because I love my friends. And because I'd love to read these books, Carver Edlund.  )

-

Click for Part Two.

-

1. Have babies NOW, so that I can do this:

"Today, I found out that my cousins are dressing up their 1 year old daughter up as a zombie for Halloween. She's just learning to walk and bites everything. They feel its appropriate. I agree. MLIA"
(Originally posted on MLIA)

Edit to add:

2. AND THIS!

"Today, I found out my parents taught me how to growl when I was a baby, since I learned by mimicking. They would take me out in public and have me growl at random people. I can only wish I was still that awesome.MLIA"

(Originally posted here.)

Epiphanyx7: now complete with Twitter.

(Yeah. One guess as to my username. Here's a hint: it's not surprising.)

(Or, the Nano-fever begins.)



( coverart under the cut )
Yeah. I'm going to try and redo my banner and coverart with something I actually own the copyright to. Even so -- Yeah. OBSESSION. It fucks up your brain and makes you think it's a good idea to try and write a novel in a month.

I tried to watch episode 3 of Merlin, but to be honest I was so overcome with disgust I didn't make it more than halfway through the episode before the player (streaming video = fail) decided to crap out on me, and I honestly didn't want to try again. Seriously.

I now see and deeply feel the resemblance to smallville. Congrats. It usually takes more than 3 episodes to make me go from love to hate, but -- well.

Fuck that.

It's like everything I hate about fanfiction, only rated PG-13 and it's all canon, so I can't just assume it's bad writing and leave it at that. Seriously? Seriously?

Okay, first of all --- WTF Merlin? WTF. I get it, okay? I get it. Apparently, the goal of season 2 is to make me stare at my computer screen saying "Wait, what?" with the emo-Merlin and the nothing-in-first-season-ever-happened-lookit-me-be-an-ass-Arthur.

Don't get me wrong, some of the Ep. 2 stuff going on was totally in character -- he's a PRINCE, after all. But what is UP with the way he's treating Merlin? What is UP with the way Merlin's LETTING him?

( I have a theory (it could be BUNNIES! Lol sorry couldn't resist but no, seriously) )

1 - Peanutman = cutest child EVER
2 - I seriously need to train my cat to stay out of my underwear drawer
3 - Insomnia sucks.

I understand that as a black female, I should love her --- but, she's a giant bitch. And I hate her.

On the other hand, this is fucking hilarious.

Okay, I was cruising the internet as I am wont to do, often, when bored. And I stumbled - through a series of links I don't quite remember - onto this.

Okay, it's a single post of a community (wtffanfiction ) dedicated to laughing at laughably bad fanfiction. And while the post made me smile, the COMMENTS made me laugh out loud, for real, so hard I was almost crying. The re-write of Harry's letter to the Dursley's made me literally roll on the floor.

So yeah. I just thought I'm post how happy it made me.

Procrastination means that the last of these stories was finished at 10:50 PM, a little more than an hour before Kink Bingo was supposed to end. But whatever, because I managed to blackout my card, yeah, that's right. So, allow me to summarize my kink bingo experience for you.

I wrote a total of 47 471 words, in 34 stories, and 2 peices of art. Fandoms were Metalocalypse, Gravitation, Sky High, X-Men (movieverse), Jennifer Crusie's Bet Me, Merlin, Star Trek: The Next Generation, Entourage, Star Trek: Reboot, Spiderman (movieverse), Stargate SG-1, Firefly, Supernatural, Superman (movieverse), Good Omens, Least I could Do, Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip, Chicago, Zoolander, Push, G.I. Joe,  and The Little Mermaid.

After the rating, Title, Fandom, Pairing, Kink, word count, and warnings, I have included a summary because that's how cool I am.

( If you're intrigued or curious, click here. )
*waves*

Right, so I put things off until the last minute, apparently. In any case, I finished my Cliché Bingo blackout just like I'd wanted to, and here I am helpfully linking you to all the stories you probably won't want to read.

Some of them have plot, some of them don't. Some of them are really well written, some are utter shite and should be burned. However, try and keep in mind that with the ONE exception of "Sparkle", every single one of these stories was completed on or after August 13th. That's right. Twenty-four stories in seventeen days.

I'm fucking impressed with myself, okay?

I MAY post these to various comms, but I also may just... not. I'm too lazy to cross-post all over the place, so, whatever. I have written High School Musical, Merlin, SG-1 and SG-A, Newtrek, Dexter, Screech Owls, Studio 60, and Firefly; as well as all new fandoms, like Ben 10 (does that even HAVE a fandom?), Galaxy Quest, Chuck, Cardcaptor Sakura, The Time Traveler's Wife, The Princess Bride, and Homer's Illiad (yes, I wrote fanfic for an epic poem). If any of these interest you, feel free to click on the lj-cut.

( Listed in the order that they were written, I've also added a summary after the title, rating, cliché, fandom, characters/pairings, and length, okay? This is about as condensed a format as I can get, while still including all the aforementioned information. )

I SAW GI JOE AND OH MY FUCKING GOD THE PRETTY, THE MEN, THE WOMEN, THE FUCKING FIGHT SCENES. HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT I WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH THIS MOVIE, I WANT TO TOUCH IT ALL OVER AND DO INAPPROPRIATE THINGS TO IT IN PUBLIC, HOLY SHIT.

</capslock!Bean>

Oh yes. Watch out. I fucking love this movie, I want to see it again and again (and again, and again), I want to ship every single person with everybody else, it's just SO MUCH pretty all in one place.

Like -- fuck.

Fuck.

Like, holy shit.

There is one scene, and you see -- fuck. Storm Shadow is wearing this white suit (duh) and looking all crisp and pressed, which is like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF MY FANTASIES, and there's blood(!!) dripping down the side of his face, and he's all intense and ridiculously sexy. God. Every time I saw him, I wanted to do dirty, filthy, wonderful things to him.

It occurs to me that my commentary on this movie might be better left under f-lock, but screw that shit.

No spoilers at all because I'm not evil.

L. M. F. A. O.

<3

Seriously, how much do you love math nerds?

Results assumed that the timescale of the outbreak was short, so that the natural birth and death rates could be ignored. If the timescale of the outbreak increases, then the result is the doomsday scenario: an outbreak of zombies will result in the collapse of civilisation, with every human infected, or dead. This is because human births and deaths will provide the undead with a limitless supply of new bodies to infect, resurrect and convert.


WHEN ZOMBIES ATTACK!: MATHEMATICAL MODELLING OF AN OUTBREAK OF ZOMBIE INFECTION

I think the best part is that this is serious. They went and created a seriously complex mathematical model which takes into account almost all of the usual variables when determining the outcome of a zombie epidemic. <3

Okay, okay, first a quick update on what I've been doing lately: writing fic. Kink Bingo and Cliché Bingo are BOTH over on the 31st, and I want to blackout both cards. What happens when you procrastinate for a month, boys and girls? That's right. You end up needing to write something like 2 fics a day just to reach the goal you've set. 2 fics @ 500 words each ought to be less difficult than NaNoWriMo, and yet --- NaNo didn't have to NOT SUCK. Also, I proofread my fics before I post them, even though sometimes it doesn't seem like it. So, I have to write 500 words for the appropriate prompt, make sure it stands alone in my mind at least, proofread it and spellcheck it, then post it and whatnot.

Fuck my life!!

And now, a list of the Kink Bingo entries I've completed since my last update... (all links lead to my dreamwidth)

20. R An Easy Touch (Supernatural, Dean/OFC, Hand Fetish) -- 2492 words
21. NC-17 Divine Intervention (Good Omens, Aziraphale/Crowley, Orgasm Denial/Control) -- 537 words
22. R The Girl's a Super Freak (Stargate SG-1, Daniel/Vala, Roleplay/AU (Authority Figures)) -- 635 words
23. NC-17 Anything She Can Do, Sean Can Do Better (Least I Could Do, Rayne/OMC, Rimming/Felching) -- 1383 words
24. NC-17 Things Not To Say (Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip, Tom/Jack, Spanking/Paddling) --650 words
25. PG-13 Triumph (Chicago, Roxie Hart/Velma Kelly, Humiliation (Public)) -- 667 words
26. NC-17 Drive (Zoolander, Derek/Hansel, Film/Photography) -- 708 words

And now, a list of the cliche_bingo  entries I've completed.

1. Sparkle, PG (Character Study, High School Musical, Chad/Ryan one-sided) -- 2649 words
2. Practically Married, PG (Everyone Thinks We're Doing It, Merlin, Arthur/Merlin friendship) -- 2464 words
3. Won't Feel So Alone, PG (Families, Stargate SG-1, Daniel, Jack O'Neill, Charlie O'Neill, Gen with hints of past Jack/Daniel) -- 1771 words
4. Attention Span, G (Second Person Narration, Dexter, Gen) -- 720 words
5. Zombie Tuesdays, R (Centre Square: Zombies, High School Musical, Gen, hints of Troy/Gabriella & past Chad/Jason) 2831 words
6. ... And Call Him George, PG (Magical Creatures, Screech Owls, Gen) --1207 words
7. Making Momma So Proud, PG-13 (Age Regression, Star Trek XI, Gen with Kirk/Spock friendship) -- 1546 words

And the other things I've written and posted in that time:

Unfinished, for sparrowshellcat. X-Men. Logan opens his mouth to say something stupid, so Scott stops him by covering his mouth with his own (it's not a kiss, kisses are soft and sweet and meaningful, and this is none of those things). The title is "Unfinished", the story stands by itself. Wolverine/Cyclops as requested.
Remember You, a drabble I have posted on my LJ. Merlin. A momentary scene from a reincarnation fic I'm not going to write.

Yeah, that's right. I've been a busy little bee.

( I Dare You To Do Something Completely Expected. )
I looked stuff up, and it seemed like the bot responsible was also masking our real usernames - I saw their username as Coho, and vice versa. So we exchanged information 4realz. And naturally, the end result is that I now have another friend.

For those who care, I have found a blog of someone else's experience, the LJ community dedicated to the Salmon/Trout/Coho-bot conversations, and a Wikipedia Article that provides a very concise summary of how it works.